Jiahui’s Top 5 Japanese Words and Phrases Used

Sumimasen

Used like ‘Excuse me’ or ‘Pardon me’. e.g. when squeezing your way out of trains.

Wakarimasen

“I don’t know.” Used liberally when spoken to. Sometimes used in conjunction with 1.

Doko desu ka?

“Where is it?” Used in conjunction with a finger pointing to a random location on a map. Sometimes used in conjunction with 1 and in other times, preceding the usage or 2.

Ikura desu ka?

“How much?” Used while holding up an item or just after getting up a bus. Closely precedes a masking of emotions at the stated price. Used with 1 and 2 if faced with overenthusiastic shopkeepers who try to explain different pricing schemes.

Arigato gozaimasu

“Thank you” Used in place of “OH MY FUCKING GOD YOU’RE KIDDING ME THAT’S MY BILL???” because Japan’s a polite society.

5 Things Not Knowing Japanese Has Not Stopped Me From Doing

1. Try to buy fireworks….

… Then realising that I don’t really know how to explain myself at Customs if stopped. I did get sparklers though. Key words: “Hanabi desu ka?” + Liberal gestures to indicate that I want sparklers, not the KABOOM! POW! POW! sort of fireworks.

2. Pass off as 17 in DisneySea

Because the ticketing person seems to think I look young.

3. Buy Shonen Jump…

… Then getting weird stares at the counter when I attempt to explain that I don’t understand what she’s asking me because I don’t speak Japanese (see first list).

4. Buy boots in the right shoe size…

… when the salesman doesn’t speak much English. He tells me that my feet are too big because the size I’m holding is “ichiban big”. I did find ogre-sized boots at another shop later on though.

5. Attempt to give directions to some Japanese lady

Who speaks only Japanese. Conversation went like this:

Her: bla bla bla bla bla bla bla desu ka? (Note: All Japanese queries end thus.)
Me: Sumimasen, wakarimasen (see list 1)
Her: *smiles* bla bla bla bla
Me: Mapu? *hands over map*