Assassin’s Creed is actually pretty decent despite how repetitive it is. It’s saved by the great cinematic moments and shattered my previously-held belief that games flawed in design can’t be saved by great graphics. Well they apparently can provided everything else isn’t broken either. I won’t go as far as to hurl abuse at the designers because the storyline is pretty well-sculpted (although it leads to the repetitiveness.) and the level design is very cool as well.

The game is very reminiscent of Spiderman 3, one of my favorites on the Xbox. The core gameplay is very similar involving getting down and dirty with a few side missions (of only about 3 varieties) and then cumulating in a suspenseful showdown with a main ‘boss’ character (which is ironically your victim in Assassin’s Creed. It’s all good mindless fun especially since the learning curve and difficulty leans towards being extra forgiving and save points are frequent.

It’s usually a good sign if I surpass the 5th hour on a game and am still interested enough to want to revisit it because I’ve a ridiculously short attention span (and less free time too these days). I’m about halfway through the game and it’s still fresh for me. Very impressive.

Quote of the day - “Ugh!! This game’s an Alzheimer’s simulator.”

1. Too sensitive controls. Cough and you lose the game. Not fun.

2. Unforgiving gameplay. The amoung of precision needed to complete your task is CRAZY. Ties in with point 1 to make the game stupidly difficult.

3. Hazy instructions. There were 4 of us who’ve probably played more games in our lives than most people. And we got stuck at the first mission because everything we did was wrong and the manual wasn’t specific. Ties in with 1 and 2 to make playing the game a frustrating affair of trial and error.

4. Stupid storyline. Once again, you have alien organisms swimming around in your body. Very realistic stuff.

5. Annoying voice acting. They emote so much I feel tired for their vocal cords.

6. Irritating presentation. Screen flashes and induces spasms when the timer is nearing 0? Check. Big words that block useful information when you commit an error / time is nearly up? Check. Eardrum-busting monotone sound effects? Check. Gaudy colors? Check. HOW MUCH WORSE CAN IT GET?

In a strange twist of deja vu, my standard of writing has been commented on four times in the past 2 days in separate conversations (critique ranges from pretty decent to very well).  Someone had also mentioned that 18-year-olds can’t write and I had agreed. I thought it’d be interesting to repost one of my earlier paid articles here (complete with grammar errors). It’s a review of Brute Force (game really doesn’t matter) and I was barely 19. There were a few from earlier on when I was 18 but at that time, there was a word limit to adhere to (1,200) which I had - and still do - maintained is a rotten idea for game reviews. It wouldn’t be fair to bore you with that much text.

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Mars Attacks

Waiting for Halo 2? You might want to try out Brute Force in the meantime.

Sometime in the future, cloning technology has ensured the longevity of an elite team of soldiers, the Confederation’s only defence against evil alien invaders. The game allows you to simultaneously manage all 4 teammates by pressing appropriate buttons and ordering them to perform tasks like firing at will or covering your tracks. You will however, have to take control of a character and lead the rest of your team from point A to point B while slaying all that stands in the way according to the level objectives.

Up to four can play but when there are fewer players, each will have the choice to switch characters as and when he or she wants to.  If team-based play isn’t for you, there’re always the Deathmatch options where you get to duke it up with, again, up to four friends.

 Forces of Nature

Although the level design is rather repetitive, the impressive AI more than makes up for it. Enemies will try as best as they can to avoid gunfire and are likely to leave their hiding place only when you’re within shooting range or are in a more vulnerable position. The easy-to-master controls means you won’t lose battles because you’re busy finding the right button for a certain function, something which can be terribly frustrating especially coupled with competent enemies.

The camera system is very well done and doesn’t get stuck at the oddest of places like what those in some third-person shooters are apt to do. Graphics are never a problem and despite having rather limited character models, the enemies are detailed and having smooth texture models. 

Environmental effects and explosions made by the wide array of weaponry (from unique guns like the feral cutter to gas and energy grenades to missiles and laser weapons) are nicely done. It is commendable that the game moves at a steady framerate and seldom stalls despite the intensity of the onscreen action. 

Sounds Great Doesn’t It?

The voice acting in the game together with the game’s instrumental soundtrack makes the game sound like one of those really cool sci-fi cartoons. The lighthearted conversation between the characters reinforces that image. The realistic and intimidating noises of the weapons is also a highlight of the audio department. 

Overall, Brute Force is an enjoyable game that doesn’t try too hard at overtaking the big boys out there. It is a good game on its own merits and if you need something to pass your time with, try this out.

1. Cameras suck. Makes me nauseous, blocks the action, switches suddenly so I fall to my doom, can’t see anything.

2. Controls suck. Bart’s supposed to grapple hook objects. Can’t see the hooks, no prompts (and subsequently, you can’t attempt) to grapple EVEN when you’re in front of it. Same goes for shooting at enemies or objects. You need to be at a certain spot to be able to trigger the aim function.

3. The collecting game sucks. There are 4 playable characters in the game (Marge, Homer, Lisa, Bart) and 4 sets of tokens to collect. Very repetitive to go through the SAME OLD LEVELS AGAIN AND AGAIN.

4. Can’t skip cutscenes. You die. You repeat the level. You watch the same cutscene again. BORING.

5. Your partner is stupid. It’s meant as a co-op game. In 1-player mode, the AI follows you sometimes when you don’t want it to (eg. when you position it at a switch and run to a platform) and doesn’t follow you when you want it to (eg. when you run to an area and find out that the other character’s needed to open a door).

6. Weightless physics. You grab a crate and throw it. It bounces like a paper crate to somewhere you DON”T WANT IT TO BE.

BTW, Metacritic registers a 7.1 score for the game. The story’s funny, the visuals are good; I like how the characters mutter to themselves (with facial animation) funny lines every now and then. BUT I’d probably give it a 6.

1. I hate going through the same stupid ‘temple’ (read: dungeon) after every single mission to get at some area that was previously unaccessible to me because I didn’t have some tool.

2.  I hate going through abovementioned ‘temple’ with a time limit to (I’m assuming) induce excitement and having to repeat the motions FROM THE START if the time were to run out. Which doesn’t happen because the limit’s too generous. Which makes the timer redundant to begin with.

3.  I hate having my progress through the temple / dungeon / cave /assorted dark spooky places reset to the starting point each time I start my saved game. Or die for that matter. Because I could spend that 15 minutes fetching the same keys on more meaningful activities. Like buffing my nails.

4. I hate stupid storylines involving memory loss. It might be intentionally corny but it bores me.

5.  I hate how it takes 5 minutes to travel from island to island by ship (the ONLY way of travel for much of the game). It’s stupid and boring and the obstacles along the way are only there to stop you from putting the game down and going to the loo in that time. Oh, and your ship does the reset-to-beginning crap when you lose all your hearts too. Fun.

6. I hate the treasure-hunting minigame where you guide a mechanical claw to the depths of the sea to grab a treasure chest. Because if you lose all your hearts, not only do you NOT get the treasure, you’ve to go back to one of the islands, fix your claw, THEN spend time travelling to the same spot to try again.

If you haven’t already seen the new Street Fighter trailer, you should. It’s the best trailer I’ve seen these few months but it’s not a gameplay trailer though so it might not have as much significance.

The sumi-e style and the limited use of color screams arthouse-cool but we all know that the final product would never be like that. Here’s an ingame screen:

Personally I’m not a huge fan of fighting games but Street Fighter’s one of those old franchises that everyone’s grown up playing and nolstalgia would make me want to at least try it out. I hope the cast is good…

I bought Magic Taizen, this DS non-game that teaches you magic tricks.

Very cool stuff.

Except I can’t read Japanese.

Hokay. So now all I have to do is to spend some months learning the language right?

Excerpt from They Might Be Giants’ MySpace:

““Here everybody-we are BACK ON THE ROAD! Spent yesterday wrapping up a couple of interesting projects in the studio in NYC we had in our in-box for our few days off. Yesterday we did a re-record or Take Out the Trash for the next edition of The Sims, and it is recorded in Simlish (!?!). Simlish, the language the characters speak in the game, sounds kind of like a jibberish version of Ubby Dubby, French and Spanish, and ends up sounding like Japanese.of the Sims theme (composed by Mark Mothersbaugh originally) with the band and the massive TMBG horns of Dan, Stan and Kurt sitting in. We also did a live session with the whole live crew for XM with an interview with our ol’ ol’ pal from Massachusetts days Bill Kates, Subgenius aficianado and all around kind fellow. That should be on the air very soon.”

I LOVE TMBG!!!!

Yea, I’m flabbergasted too!

Command & Conquer Gold is apparently available as a FREE download now.

Get it here 

Introducing the latest Disney game on the block. Happiness and sunshine in a box (see especially girl third from left).

Skate, if I haven’t mentioned already, has some bugs in it - sometimes your skater acts funny or  gets stuck in spots. Other times, trigger points don’t load like they should.

And then yesterday, the game froze on me.

After the second time this happened, I took out my disc and to my horror, there’s a scratched ring all around the disc. 5 minutes later, I sent out a letter to Xbox Customer Support asking for help.

This morning, I received a generic ‘We understand but…’ email from Microsoft. Choice bits as follows:

“I do apologize for the inconvenience. I understand that you play a game, use the Xbox Dashboard or the Xbox Guide, or wait for the console to start, your Xbox 360 may freeze, and there is a scratched disc on your Xbox Game Disc.”

“The Xbox 360 is a high end piece of hardware and should not be moved or jostled while a game disc is in play.”

To summarize, they’d replace my game if it’s a Microsoft-published one if I’m in Australia or New Zealand. I called the Customer Support hotline and the lady told me that I can get a replacement Xbox 360 but not a replacement game. I asked her what good that’d do since it’s a design flaw that ALL Xbox360s are plagued with. She tells me that she can’t do much for me other than give me tips on how to care for my games and console (the word Xbox 360 was repeated incessantly) including the fact that I should put my console on a sturdy table and always take the game out after play (bullshit). I remarked sarcastically that this won’t prevent slight earthquakes from ruining my games. She says that earthquakes don’t happen in Singapore to which I replied “Yea, they only happened a few times in the past month”. She agreed, “Yeah, they’re infrequent.” I gave up talking.

If Rock Band retails for less than $250 for the special edition which comes with drums, mic and guitar, I won’t be getting a Wii until much much later. It’s so terribly exciting, watching the Rock Band trailers. I’m actually waiting out Guitar Hero III just so I can get the guitar-less version if I were to get Rock Band.

One thing’s for sure, the hype’s working.

This was meant to be posted last week but I got busy and tired.

Here’s my Xbox 360 for anyone who’s interested.

I sold off my limited ed copy of Halo 3 last week as well. To the surprise of many that I didn’t even bother unwrapping it for a trial first before doing so. I don’t think it’s a big loss really because I could probably get a 2nd hand copy 2 or 3 months later for half the price if I was really that keen on playing it. To its credit though, I did hear that the game’s pretty decent albeit very similar to the previous Halos. But like they say, if it ain’t broke, why fix it. Fans like it and that’s all that matters.

In the meantime, I’m scouting around for a copy of Viva Pinata and waiting for Rock Band, Guitar Hero III and Spore to hit the stands. The contribution from Halo 3 will come in handy for that… I reckon I could get 2 of those games and have change. I’m going to get rid of my TV cabinet, my desk and a bookshelf and getting a giant table in their place that would fit my TV, consoles and notebook.

My TV cabinet currently looks like this:

My Xbox has already been taken out and packed (my cousin’s a happy recepient) and games are on a separate shelf not shown. The clutter’s bad mostly because of the various chargers and controllers that comes with the consoles. The Xbox360 might be more compact than the original Xbox but it comes with a huge load of cords - the one to its left is the power brick which weighs like well, a brick.

More about the Great Clutter Reduction when I finally get to ordering my table.

The first Tony Hawk I played made me want to skateboard. After feeling more than a little self-conscious about being female and skateboarding, I eventually picked up unicycling. But I got myself a skateboard some years later all the same.

I still can’t skateboard (well).

BUT I got Skate for the Xbox360 and it’s so bloody cool I want to learn ollies all over again.  Unlike Tony Hawk, Skate features more realistic skateboarding. That translates to street skateboarding without the 720 grab-flip-plants over halfpipes. The left thumbstick controls your body motions (turning/rotations) while the right controls your board (flips/grinds). The trigger buttons act as grabs and the face buttons lets you propel your board with either leg depending on what you press. Not the most intuitive of schemes and not something you can get used to in the first 2 or 3 hours.

I’ve this compulsion to press the face buttons each time I want to do a trick and having to push the thumbstick up or down, then swivel it around takes a LOT of getting used to. I feel almost spastic trying to get my brain to work both hands spontaneously.

The game’s definitely fun but the praise lavished on it by various game sites is a little disbelieving. Mostly because the game’s quite buggy. I’m into my 3rd hour and I found at least 2 bugs already. Lipsyncing stops suddenly mid-cutscene and the audio would play while the character stares on without moving his lips. During one of my quests where I’m supposed to follow a skater around, the skater refuses to move and when  I moved out of a certain radius, I lose instantly. Very glaring faults that are unforgiveable.

But hey, I’d still say it’s more fun than the hype machine that’s Halo 3. I’ve the limited edition and am looking for a buyer. It’s sealed still and untouched. If anyone wants it, quote me a price.