On a 29″ uni. Qu-Ax or Kris Holm… I hope the Taiwan people get back to me soon.

THUNDER THIGHS IS BACK, BAAABY!

Today I found out what a Ghillie suit is because my boyfriend wants to buy us some “in case we need it”. (p.s: If you’re reading this, HAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAH THAT”S THE DUMBEST THING I”VE HEARD IN A LONG TIME)

That’s a ghillie suit.

It looks like a wookie doesn’t it? HAHAHAHAHHAHAHHA. I’m so rude.

Months after leaving my impossible wheel to gather dust, I realise that I can actually move on it pretty steadily if I push myself off the wall to start AND I CAN STEER AS WELL. Kick-starting however still doesn’t work for me.

New trick of the moment - front kick-up mount. Starting with one foot on a pedal (similar to a regular mount position) and the seat dropped to the ground in front, in one swift motion, the other foot should kick up the frame of the uni and as the seat flies towards you, your foot moves to the pedal and you ride off after you catch the seat.

I’ve managed to pull it off once out of a million or so attempts but I think I’m getting the hang of it. Thicker shoes or socks would definitely help.

Now to figure out what use it is in regular tricks.

In other news, I’ve lost my unispin again. But I’m getting better at recovering from wheelwalking. Not that it’s any consolation.

Alas, alas another day.

This  week’s theme is Randomness.

I bought a french dictionary on Sunday.

Today, I got off work earlier than usual (that means 7pm) and had some time to walk around the mall. So I bought a hairdryer.

I REALLY need sleep.

I hate it when I have to submit sub-par crappy work for something I’m actually passionate about and happy to do.

And I hate it when there’s so much stuff to do I HAVE to submit crappy sub-par work because it’s 1am and I need to sleep.

It’s sad when something you like doing becomes work and hence, a chore.

If there’s any piece of clothing I refuse to buy, it’s one that looks horrid on the shop mannequin or on the model in publicity shots. Which begets the question why people would buy this:

and if that’s NOT bad enough, check out their range for plus-sized females.

This one’s called “Totally Slimming Mid Rise Bootcut Jean“. Someone should explain that ’slimming’ doesn’t mean bulbous. And squeezing fat people into jeans that are 2 sizes too small does NOT have a slimming effect.

This is how you should be advertising your products:

And before anyone cuts in to say “But that’s because the model’s a size 0 and probably eats a meal a day. Of lettuce!” here’s an example of how to make plump people look good:

The trick here is PHOTOSHOP. You’re rich enough to run a retail store and hire models to show off your products, you should be rich enough to hire a good Photoshop artist to make your already good-looking models look better.

It’s terribly terribly sad if you’re butch AND blessed (or maybe it’s a bane) with Angelina Jolie-sized melons.

The Media Development Authority here bans games. Like Grand Theft Auto. Like God of War. Like Half-Life. Like Mass Effect. And they unban games. In a week. Like Half-Life. Like Mass Effect.

So there’s backlash.

But they’re hip and cool too.

So they made a video to show us how hip and cool they are.

Like this.

Laughs aside, it’s interesting how only 3 of them seem to have a Singaporean accent though.

So uh. I want a distance uni.  I’ve 2 real choices - a 29″ or a 36″. A 26″ would be more useful because I can hop around with it but it’s unlikely I’ll get that.

I’ve tried a 36 before. I tried to mount it, failed, tried to mount it again, failed and then with help, got up and tried to move on it, failed and… you get the point. 36ers are heavy things. Not good at all in local traffic. BUT they’re useful for distance. I travel 3 times the distance than my current uni with one crank rotation. Which in short means that there’s a good chance I’ll lose my manly man calf muscles in time if I do that. Which is good because it means I won’t look like Xena. Or at least my legs won’t. AND, and, I can intimidate those stupid cyclists once and for all. Try cutting into my path and I’ll just fucking roll over them AND SURVIVE IT.

Then there’s the 29″ which is manageable and which is cheaper and which I can possibly do a bit of downhill with without fear that I can’t control it. Of course, I won’t be able to trample over everything in sight with it like the 36er but it’d still be more intimidating than my cute pink one-wheeler (everyone say awwww).

I was reading about this time trial that one guy did. He raced 38km on possibly a 36er in 1h 26 min. I’m looking at doing 80km. And I want to finish it preferably before the sky changes color. And I need to do this for consecutive days.  But I don’t suppose Singapore traffic would allow for uninterrupted riding on a 36er all the same.

Hm.

Opinions people?

Remember the post from 2 days back about the customer service letter and the panty? Apparently, the saga continues.

Dear XXXXXXXX,

Thank you for contacting us regarding your recent order.  We are eager to assist you in this matter.

Our records indicate that the replacement order #xxxxxxxxcontaining the panty, #xxxxxx has processed for shipment and is not able to be changed or cancelled.  This order is expected to arrive to you by December 17, 2007.

As we are unable to cancel this order as requested, we are processing a refund to your Visa card in the amount of $5.00 for panty.  Please allow 3 to 5 business days for processing and 1 to 2 billing cycles for the credit to appear on your monthly statement.   We invite you to keep or dispose of this panty as desired.  We assure you that it is not necessary to return this panty.

It started as an intention to show off how to do a certain juggling trick to a few people. I figure I’d break down the trick into steps and heck, since videos take up a lot of space I’d put it on YouTube. There’d probably be a bunch of people watching the vid at most because come on, how many jugglers are there in the world. And who cares if I had the crappiest haircut in the history of the world (the jobless don’t need haircuts) or that I was in what i woke up in (see, things you do impulsively usually happen in the morning. When you just wake up.).

Well, sixteen thousand views later, someone finally brought up the obvious and asked if I were male or female. It was funny so I left it be and a day later, the same person left a follow-up that went ‘Oh you’re female.’ or something to that effect.

I bought some new furniture from Ikea right, but I couldn’t get the delivery people to fix up my table because the old one was still in my room and if they were to fix the new one up, I can’t push it through the door (my room’s not big enough for 2 tables).

So I figured, how hard can fixing a table be?

Well, to be fair, not very. It’s just very manual labor. The sort that I’m not really inclined to do, especially after spending like 4 hours prior packing and throwing away half my stuff. I got rid of 2 full wall-height shelves and a TV cabinet worth of stuff so that’s a LOT of things.

The table took me 2 hours to fix up and it wasn’t so much that there were a lot of parts but rather than the parts were heavy and sticking out all over the place and generally unfun to put together (see picture for the acute-angled table legs that happen to have - that’s right - adjustable height settings).

If you thought the chair was easier to put together, think again. The wheels took me 10 minutes to screw on but it took almost an hour for me to get the seat on the metal frame. Because the frame is flat while the seat is curved and you can’t screw the damn thing in unless you have a clamp. Which I don’t. It’s a minor miracle that it got fitted together in the end.

Well, I’m happy now. All I need is a new computer, a new TV and a Wii and I’ll be set for Christmas. Please be charitable alright?

I got my Ikea Friends card today. They missed out an F in my name

A friend told me about this email received from Victoria’s Secret because one of the items ordered from online was out of stock.

“Dear xxxx,

Thank you for your reply regarding the panty you did not receive.  We apologize if this caused any disappointment. “

We went to watch Beowulf at the movies today. It reminded me a LOT of 300. Specifically,

“THIS IS SPAATAAAAAA!” vs “I AM BEOWUUUUUULF!”

Anyway, if you haven’t heard of the show yet, it’s this 3D animated epic based on a poem (I found that out just now) starring the voices and likenesses of Angelina Jolie, John Malkovich and a bunch of other bigshots that hypemachines like to hire for better publicity. And oh, the screenplay’s done by Neil Gaiman and Whatshisname so it adds to the credentials.

Well, the story isn’t too bad since it is based on some epic poem albeit with an interesting spin but the whole movie feels like a self-serving vanity exercise. The animation’s the most realistic I’ve ever seen. In fact, it looked exactly like a live-action show at some points and Angelina Jolie looks exactly like she does in real-life because mo-cap’s used. Which brings me to the point of why. Why bother splicing in animation that looks so realistic when it’d probably be cheaper hiring the actors in the first place. Heck, the actors ARE already hired so why are we watching pixillated replicas?

Overall, pretty decent show with great presentation but very redundant.